I was reading on Facebook today catching up with a a few friends and Heather Madder said:
"Most of our little social rules & customs are not that useful. They have meaning because we ATTACH meaning. Then we ASSIGN REWARDS...keep our rules and we accept and praise you. BREAK our
rules and we punish you, shame you, and separate you.
I'm not suggesting disorder--simply inviting INQUIRY Do you KNOW WHY do you BELIEVE what you do? (because someone else said so or is it truly useful?)"
I have been pondering belief today. Beliefs shape actions, but more importantly, beliefs shape reactions. Subconsciously, I will go out of my way to prove that what I believe is true.
For example, If I believe that all food that has been refrigerated is poisoned, I will go out of my way to prove that. I will mention all the times I have gotten sick after eating something that was refrigerated. If someone tries to convince me that refrigerated food is not poisoned I will discount what they have to say.
I then create a cycle of false belief - search for proof - proof - reinforcement- false belief.
To break the cycle I get to examine WHY I believe something. WHEN was the first time I started believing it? Is it really true or is there PROOF that what I believe is False?
Sometimes I get stuck in my life...A challenge keeps presenting itself again and again. That is when I know I am bumping my head against a belief. That is also when I get quiet and listen to what I am saying to others about that challenge.
The easiest way to find out what someone truly believes is to listen to them. Some of the things I have heard lately...see if you can pick out the false beliefs:
"Women over 40 can't change the way they do things."
"I can't...(sing, dance, stay organized, sew.)"
"It would just kill me to do that."
"There is never enough money."
"You must be really late if you are coming in with me, I can never be on time."
Most of the time these things are said off the cuff, but that doesn't mean that the person saying them doesn't truly believe them.
This week I am going to watch my words more closely and find some more false beliefs that are holding me back. I'll let you know what I find.